Ask Terrible Gardener
(Via grow this)
Dear TG
I have succeeded beyond my wildest dreams with lettuce this year. My lettuce is so big that I can sit in my Adirondack chair in the cool shade of a lettuce leaf. My question is, how did this happen?
Concerned Gardener
Dear CG,
Your mutant lettuce probably resulted from a combination of global warming, too much water, and possibly something involving divine retribution for rampant overuse of Miracle Grow. I suggest you avoid planting Beefsteak tomatoes and stick with cherry tomatoes. If the same conditions prevail, the cherry tomatoes should be just about the right size to enjoy in a giant salad.
TG
Dear TGI have succeeded beyond my wildest dreams with lettuce this year. My lettuce is so big that I can sit in my Adirondack chair in the cool shade of a lettuce leaf. My question is, how did this happen?
Concerned Gardener
Dear CG,
Your mutant lettuce probably resulted from a combination of global warming, too much water, and possibly something involving divine retribution for rampant overuse of Miracle Grow. I suggest you avoid planting Beefsteak tomatoes and stick with cherry tomatoes. If the same conditions prevail, the cherry tomatoes should be just about the right size to enjoy in a giant salad.
TG
